Western Horoscope

Aries:

One time I had to promise my son I would stop getting married because I was clearly terrible at it. At the moment you may be terrible at it too but that won’t come near stopping you from idealizing your love life. Somebody is telling you you need to be home more and be present for your loved ones but listen, is that really true? In any event, the 14th onward is looking pretty blissful.

Taurus:

Settling in to a lucky new home environment and getting serious about your Gym Tan Laundry routine isn’t the worst thing a Taurus ever had to endure. Something is missing though, yeah? The heart grows fonder.

Gemini:

I see a social calendar run amok, more attention and interaction than you could probably stuff into a lifetime and the sense that you are still not quite up to the task physically. My advice is to let someone else do the dishes for a change and to stick with the people who are fully and actively *loving you back.*

Cancer:

The eclipses always take their toll on you but you have truly got to get the people who are undermining your confidence and creativity out of your life. Your health, career and cash-flow will all improve immensely once you stop renting vampires of all kinds any space in your head.

Leo:

There’s probably been no grander opportunity for you to express your Great Vision of your best life in recent memory than in the past month or so. If you are sensing that the support system in your life is a bit less impressed with you than the larger world, well, you would be right. Make sure you offer a little appreciation back to the smaller players in your life and quarterback *your* team for the rest of the month.

Virgo:

Wouldn’t it be great if no one cared about money, ever, and everything was free? You don’t worry so much about it usually because you are a brilliant economist and if stereotypes hold true you could probably stretch a pound of ground beef from now to Christmas. Regardless, you’ve got cash on your mind. It will be all right, and even better than all right if you follow your impulse to actively improve your cash flow starting now.

Libra:

North Node in the first house always feels intensely isolating, but it’s for a good cause, namely the reorganization of your personality. You’re still basically not getting along with anyone but that’s not really so concerning at the moment, is it? Big plans on the horizon and an uncharacteristic drive to make them go.

Scorpio;

In case you haven’t heard it the thousandth time, Saturn is in your sign. On the outside everything looks great but something you probably can’t tell anyone is really bothering you. Your self-destructive tendencies are legendary in that they famously fail to kill you and all that, but listen, why make it worse than it is? Don’t let your private obsessions ruin what look to be some pretty good gigs coming up.

Sagittarius:

Funny thing is, Jupiter, your ruling planet is as blessed and auspicious as he is ever going to be for you at the moment so you’ll probably want to know why you feel so rotten all the time. Saturn in the solar 12th works like that. You might want to to try to talk yourself out of it, but the best idea is to just practice patience, sobriety and whatever else it takes to get you to do all the unsaggie things you hate. Nothing else will work, not even alcohol.